So I've been at this for a few hours now, and I must admit that I give up.
I know from looking up (so this isn't exactly a duplicate) that I need to change the directory of the JDK. Mad props to this guy "BHAGYARSH DHUMAL"(in "Gradle project refresh failed- Android Studio 2.2") for coming up with what he said, because I was originally looking at /$HOME$/.local/... for which there was never any .local directory anyway.
So I took some advice from http://www.wikihow.com/Install-Oracle-Java-JDK-on-Ubuntu-Linux in terms of how to make sure I was running Oracle Java and not Openjdk (just in case, and to make sure I had "the Java" JDK).
However, I go to the /....oracle-java-8-jdk/jre folder and try to select it like Mr. Dhumal said... and it says "please choose a valid JDK environment." Uhm, ok......
Seems like I can't be that far from the right way of doing this, but I just can't crack it. I need this to be working so I can write an Android Application for school in the next six weeks or so. Any help please?
P.S. I'd ask by comment perhaps on Mr. Dhumal's post, but I have waaaay too low reputation to do that (TAT).
Thanks in advance!
p.p.s. it is 3am here, so I'm going to bed. I won't be around for maybe another five hours at least.