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I am unable update ubuntu 12.04
Do you use sudo to get root rights? Like "sudo apt-get upgrade"
How to run a command as a user whose login is disabled?
Has the ´[username]´ proper rights to run irssi?
Ubuntu gets slower by the day
If performance, then either memory, IO, networking or computing power can be the bottleneck. I would first check the networking in your case: dynamic IP allocation, DNS resolution, ...