sorry for the silly question; for gaming/heavy programs on Ubuntu
(PlayOnLinux, Wine, Steam etc.) and given the amount up updates that
come and go plus, I am - at least under the impression that you cannot
chose where programs are installed as much as you would be able to on
Windows (with wizard installations) am I wrong?
You can certainly choose where to install software. There are guidelines about where things in the system should go, and for most packages in repository these are adhered to, but since you brought up games and playonlinux, let's use that as an example.
Playonlinux lets you install things in different winedrives by manipulating environment variables, so you can definitely choose where to install things (even moreso than Windows Steam for example). Binary installer games almost always either a) install to opt or b) install in user-home/.something. You could install it as any user you want, with any home directory you want. So again, yes, able to be manipulated.
Is it exposed as a next next finish interface? No. Why not? Because you would break things since Linux is all about the shared libraries and Windows is all about monolithic or using their runtimes (how many games ask if you installed directx of the dotnet)
So with that in mind where would you suggest I install Ubuntu and why?
It's generally accepted knowledge that a desirable configuration is either starting fresh with bcache for low resource systems or using the SSD for high read/write speed required areas (your /home mountpoint for example).