Since the usability gods work in mysterious ways, in 13.04 it's no longer possible to whitelist systray icons that I want to see. While the messaging menu is less useful than the flashing Pidgin icon (since I can't configure it to flash), it seems I'll have to make do with it.
So I managed to get Pidgin to integrate with that by enabling the libnotify-plugin in Pidgin. However, that leaves me with another problem: How can I have this work (i.e. trigger the messaging menu icon and integrate with that menu) without it actually showing popups for each of those events? At work, I'm often showing coworkers things on my machine, and it is extremely distracting to have these popups show up all the time, not to mention sometimes a privacy issue. Yet when I turn them off, I get no notification whatsoever.
What can I do?