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When I try to update the software on my laptop it says I can´t update everything at the same time but I can upgrade gradually, but then a window pops up and says that "apt-get or aptitude" currently is running and I have to turn it of to be able to update the software but I can´t figure out how to turn it of.

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Try to restart your computer (use sudo reboot in a terminal). After restarts the first thing you should do is to open a terminal and run next commands:

sudo apt-get update
sudo apt-get upgrade

These will update your software. Don't install/unsinstall nothing in this time using another program.

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Try running ps -A in your terminal and look for apt-get or aptitude in the list of running processes. Note the pid apt-get/aptitude and run kill 99999 replacing "99999" with the appropriate pid. This should kill the process if it is running.

If it does not, try running it with sudo.

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