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I cannot use any GTK themes at all in Xubuntu 13.04. It worked up until I tried to (unsuccessfully) setup 3 monitors.

EDIT: I ran gtk-window-decorator --replace and got Window manager warning: Failed to load theme "Adwaita": Failed to find a valid file for theme Adwaita I do not have Adwaita selected on the appearance GUI, in fact, it is not even an option. Where is it pulling that value from?

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same problem here, I can't select my Bluebird theme anymore. Just to help you go ahead, the "Adwaita" theme configuraiton can be found using the search feature on dconf-editor. – alex garel May 27 '13 at 10:17

I would suggest installation of shimmer's themes. Blackbird and Graybird style is nice, clean and GTK2 and GTK3 compatible as well. You will have a consistent XFCE look and feel.

You can do with the following commands:

sudo add-apt-repository ppa:shimmerproject/ppa
sudo apt-get update
sudo apt-get install shimmer-themes

After that, choose Greybird or Blackbird in Appearance settings panel.

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