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so I downloaded both 32-bit and 64-bit flavors of 12.04.2 (MD5 checks out); don't want 12.10 since I prefer LTS. I used Universal USB Installer http://www.pendrivelinux.com/universal-usb-installer-easy-as-1-2-3/ to make a bootable USB.

32-bit: USB boots, can get to live desktop AND install, zero issues.

64-bit: USB boots, goes to menu (where I can choose between live desktop, install, memtest, etc). Live desktop and install do not work, it just makes a loud beep when I try to select (like the beep from POST) and does nothing (it stays at this menu). My laptop does indeed have a 64 bit CPU (I am trying to set up dual boot, my other OS is Windows 7 Home Premium SP1 x64, which is also a fresh re-install, if that matters). I also ran memtest earlier and there were no problems.

Help, please? What could be the issue? Am I stuck with just 32 bit?

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What if you use another tool to make the LiveUSB like Unetbootin or Startup disk creator?. –  Uri Herrera Feb 25 '13 at 0:14
    
Unetbootin did not work either. edit: I am OP, not sure how to make a comment... :/ –  user135368 Feb 25 '13 at 1:31
    
This sounds identical to my problem askubuntu.com/questions/260503/… –  Scarberian Feb 26 '13 at 15:03
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