I have made Ubuntu my primary OS since 10.04, and I have converted many of my friends and neighbors into Ubuntu users since then. I am the fix-it guy they approach when they encounter problems. The most frantic calls I get are when they encounter an "update-induced kernel panic." (Many human beings are allergic to command-line interfaces and search engines.)
What are the step-by-step procedures to resolve an "update-induced kernel panic"?